Tuesday 25 February 2014

Wedding Blues

It's been a tremendously long time since we posted anything on this blog, from the time one of us got married:) and the other got engaged it's been crazy, but we still do much pinning on Pinterest which shows that we aren't dead. hahaha

What I want to talk about in today's blog is something that I think enough brides go through but never know how to put a finger to... Wedding blues:(
Now there are two types of wedding blues, the pre and the post, I am going to mainly talk about the pre as I have experience on that....



It's all so very confusing really when what is supposed to be the happiest time of your life kinda pulls a fast one on you and all of a sudden you feel gloomy. You see this one big day is associated with so much, family reunions, unresolved conflict, financial strife, you name it, Wedding planning and the day itself is like the battleground that hasn't been there since the last family wedding or funeral.

And so it starts you tell your family your 'friend wants to come and marry you (lol for those foreign to this concept let's just say, you are engaged) Everyone is really excited, well most of them are, your parents especially (in a normal set up) Some start cooking up bride prices in their heads and enquiring what sort of work does this 'friend' of yours do.... Then the big traditional wedding day comes, drumroll please because the drama begins, your cousin's uncle's niece's grandpa's whatever shows up from nowhere whom you haven't seen in ages and that is really for a good reason too, why you haven't seen him in a while. Now that something exciting is happening everyone has an opinion and everybody really must have a say regardless of where they've been all these years or what not. Everybody wants to be invited to the big white wedding, oh did I say big? yes I did say Big, that you probably have to pay for.
At this point you look at the vision that you had for your wedding and what seems to be going on around it, and slowly but surely you begin to lose it. Everyone is calling and asking when their wedding invite is coming, who is doing the flowers? did you find a dress? did you do this, did you do that? I totally get your concern but what you do not realise is there's 1 of me and 500 of you asking pretty much the same thing over and over. This then leads to what I call shut down mode, where you just go blank or else you will go bonkers. There seems to be this weird heaviness that you cannot describe how or where it got there and you begin to just float.. Wedding blues. Is there a way to avoid them? A friend said just go to court and get married there you would so avoid them, another said play along, agree with everything they say ( though you might end up throwing a circus instead of a wedding) another said , stand your ground, let them know who's boss.... I don't know really, the purpose of this blog is not to give a solution to the wedding blues thing but to actually inform all brides out there that you are not crazy but you could feel a tad bit under the weather before your wedding, it's not unique to you so please don't go throw yourself over the bridge, they do say that after all is said and done and you are standing at that altar about to marry your best friend, everything will be worth it. Clear cut diamonds really have to go through the rough, what''s a testimony without the test!

Keep your head up high dear bride and smile smile smile because God and your hubby to be loves you, focus on those seemingly small little things that make you happy and you are looking forward to, such as; your walk down the aisle, rather than the relative who had a mouthful to say to you, think of those lovely flowers you will have, the look on your husband's face when he sets his eyes upon you, his precious gem...
Above all try not to lose too much sleep over 'The day' and forget about 'the Days' which is your actual marriage. One person said to me , when you go for your honeymoon, enjoy it, have tons of fun, unwind, it's your love vacation, you earned it