Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Vaperekedzi's Bill of Rights



My dear readers, I apologize for my hiatus. It’s been quite hectic, with moving cities, trying to figure out the logistics of planning a wedding across the country, and settling in to the rhythm of work. But I am back and ready to inspire!

I’m a bridesmaid at a dear friend of mine’s wedding, on the 13th of October. It’s been a fun journey; I’m in the thick of making phone calls, comforting an anxious bride, and practising for steps. Ah... masteps.... I’m loving the gown she got for herself, and the dresses she picked out for us, and I’m truly excited for the both of them.

In the midst of all the planning, I came across an article in Glamour SA, “The Bridesmaids’Bill of Rights”, and I could not help but laugh. Wedding planning is so stressful, sometimes we need a good laugh. So I’ve written our own version, the Vaperekedzi Bill of Rights:
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  • The right to refuse to be placed on any committee that wakes you up at 6am to discuss the mundane issues of the wedding. Like cutlery. And who’s going to buy cabbage for the salad.


  • The right to walk down the aisle with a full stomach. “When I was a bridesmaid, the bride’s mother woke us up to an amazing breakfast,” says Samantha, 25. “I’m truly grateful to her for her thoughtfulness, because the next meal we had was at the reception in the afternoon.”

  •  The right to make the bride get up and dance each time she unwraps her kitchen tea present, because hey, she’s making you practise for masteps!


  • The right to not go into debt  over your friend’s wedding, because frankly, she’s not the only one who’s getting married.


  • The right to be genuinely outraged when a guest wears a dress just like your bridesmaid dress. “My friend’s future sisters-in-law were upset at not being made bridesmaids, that they went and had their own dresses made, that looked exactly like the bridesmaid dresses,” says L, 27. “I couldn’t say anything, I was too shocked.” True story.

  • The right to fight over that bouquet. That little superstition could have some truth, so bring it on!!!


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  • The right to not be considered fair game for every single guy attending the wedding. “I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, and one of her uncles got drunk and started harassing me. I literally had to fight him off. It was quite awkward.”


  • The right to ask the dance coach to choreograph steps that are better than “kick, lock, 1-2-3...” and the infamous bus stop.


     
      
  • The right to gang up on and speak some sense into a fellow bridesmaid who’s not picking up the slack. Because we’re all in this together. And it’s not about us, it’s about our friend who’s getting married.
  • The right to celebrate your friend on one of the happiest days of her life, with no regrets.

What else would you add on this list? I would love to hear from you!

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